


Disoriented

by TheManOfManyFandoms



Series: Family Is More Than Blood [7]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Gen, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Past Child Abuse, Protective Katara (Avatar), Protective Toph Beifong, Sick Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Zuko (Avatar) Angst, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko’s Scar, he’s not in this one but he kinda fucked up Zuko’s thought process, so the point still stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25562095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheManOfManyFandoms/pseuds/TheManOfManyFandoms
Summary: Not long after they arrive at Ember Island, Zuko gets sick and tries to hide it from the group. Needless to say, that isn’t a very good decision.
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: Family Is More Than Blood [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789564
Comments: 312
Kudos: 1845





	1. Some News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toph convinces Zuko to admit that he’s sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the new fic ya’ll. This was actually inspired by a suggestion in the comments of the last fic so.. thx!

So, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The bad news, is that Toph can _definitely_ feel that Zuko’s very sick, even after he had blown off her concerns for the past few days. If he _wasn’t_ sick, she would kick his ass for worrying her so much. 

The good news, is that- um, well... there is no good news actually. The _okay-ish_ news, is that he’s not about to keel over right this second. As it is, he’s trying to teach Aang, even though Toph can clearly feel his heart beating unevenly and can hear his breath coming in shaky gasps.

Toph doesn’t know if she admires Zuko, or thinks he’s a fucking idiot for shouting furiously for the _whole_ lesson, despite obviously feeling like shit. When he finally dismisses Aang, he sits down heavily and Toph can feel him holding his head in his hands. “Hey, uh, Sparky? You doin’ okay?” She asks, walking up to him.

He flinches a little and stammers, “Oh, uh, T-Toph? How long have you- nevermind... um, yep! I’m doing great!” He gestures with his arms, as if to prove his point, but immediately winces.

”Yeaaah, and I’m a badgermole,” Toph scoffs, “I know you’re sick, Zuko.”

She gets the immediate feeling that she should _not_ have said that. Zuko shrinks away from her and stutters out a rapid response, “N-no! I’m not! E-even if I _was_ sick, it wouldn’t matter. I’d still be able to train Aang, I promise!”   
  
“Woah, woah, calm down, Sparks!” Toph holds her hands out, in what she hopes is a somewhat pacifying gesture. “You wanna slow down a bit?”

”I won’t be any trouble, I _promise_ ,” Zuko says in a small voice and he sounds horribly close to crying, “I can take care of myself and-and Aang won’t have to stop training. I’ll be able to-to teach him still.”

Toph sits down cross-legged in front of him and reaches forward for one of his hands. He doesn’t flinch at the touch and she counts that as a victory, as she squeezes the hand comfortingly. “I’m not worried about _Aang_ , dumbass. I’m worried about _you_. You don’t need to hide this kind of thing from us. Katara can even help heal you.”

”Please don’t tell, Katara,” he says, his voice quivering again, sounding very un-Zuko-like and absolutely miserable. The empathetic tug in Toph’s chest makes her feel itchy.

”You and Katara are chill now, right?” She checks.

”I- I think so, but I don’t want to be a burden and she’s already so busy and-” 

He’s getting increasingly panicky, so Toph says loudly, “I’m going to stop you right there, Sunshine,” she continues in a quieter voice, when Zuko shuts up, “Katara will _not_ think you’re a burden for getting sick and neither will anyone else. If they do, I’ll kick their asses.”

This startles a quiet laugh out of Zuko and she smirks triumphantly. “Now come on,” she says, standing up and tugging him to his feet. He sways as he stands and Toph tightens her grip on his hand. “Yeah, you definitely need a healer,” she shakes her head a bit and pulls him towards the house.

—————

When they arrive, Toph shouts, “Sugar Queen, get out here!”

” _What_ , Toph,” Katara asks huffily as she opens the door, but freezes, presumably when she sees Zuko. “What the hell is wrong with _him_ ,” she asks, sounding stunned.

Zuko flinches a little at the blunt question and Toph squeezes his hand lightly. “This dumbass decided to pretend he wasn’t sick,” she explains, rolling her eyes.

”You look dead on your feet, Zuko,” Katara says, her voice soft in the way it gets when somebody she cares about is hurt. She takes Zuko’s other hand and Toph relinquishes hold of him.   
  
“How long have you been sick?” Katara demands, as she leads Zuko into the house, Toph following behind.

”Um, a-a few days I think,” Zuko says, his voice still quiet and more than a bit off.

”Well, you’re burning up,” The waterbender comments concernedly.

“You- you don’t have to bother yourself with me. I’ll be better in a couple of days,” he tells her softly.

“Don’t be stupid,” Katara says. The words are sharp, but her voice is soft, “I’m not bothered, I just don’t like seeing you hurt.”

”Oh,” Zuko sounds so lost and maybe Toph should have sensed it earlier but his heart rate spikes and he sways where he stands.

”Katara! He’s gonna-” Toph starts and Zuko collapses, “do... that...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not too happy with this chapter and the ending felt like a bit of a cliche cop-out but... it’s good enough! Leave some kudos or a comment if you enjoyed!


	2. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, Zuko wakes up, people argue, and a nightmare happens.

“Zuko!” Katara exclaims, barely able to catch him before he hits his head on the floor. She should have known what was going to happen the moment she had seen his, much too, pale face and glassy eye. 

“Shit,” Toph mutters, “spirits damn you, Sparky.”

”Let’s get him somewhere more comfortable,” Katara says quietly. The two girls manage to heave Zuko into the room he had claimed upon arriving at the house and lay him down on the bed. “We should get the others,” the waterbender says, hovering indecisively by the side of Zuko’s bed.

”I’ll get them,” Toph offers, seeming to sense her hesitance to leave the firebender’s side.

”Thanks,” Katara sighs, relaxing a bit. As Toph stomps out of the room, Katara locates a chair and pulls it next to the bed, sitting in it and twisting her hands together anxiously.

It’s not too long, before Zuko groans, opening his eyes blearily. Katara gasps and jumps to her feet, ready to help him. “Did I pass out?” He asks casually, sitting up on his elbow.

”Yes! Yes you did!” Katara snaps impatiently.

Zuko eyes her nervously, “Sorry?”

Katara sighs, deflating. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault,” she says, as she sits back down, “Though you _should_ have come to me sooner.”

“I didn’t want to bother you,” he says, like that’s something that makes _any_ kind of sense.

”Well, you wouldn’t have.” Katara purses her lips, _don’t yell at the sick person, Katara._

”Oh,” Zuko says blankly, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. After a pause he just says, “I feel like shit.”

Katara laughs incredulously, “I don’t doubt it. You have a bad fever.”

Zuko doesn’t get a chance to respond. At that moment, the other four come barreling into the room. “Oh, you’re awake!” Toph says cheerfully, grinning.

”Yep,” Zuko says dully, “I don’t exactly want to be.”

Aang gives the firebender his patented puppy dog eyes, as he quietly says, “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick, Zuko? I would have taken the day off of firebending if I had known.”

”Don’t look at me like that,” Zuko snaps weakly, “You need to practice and I didn’t want to be disrupting.”

Suki voices all of their feelings, by saying, “That’s fucking stupid. You’re allowed to be sick, you know?”

There’s a telling pause, before he says, “I know that.”

”Oh spirits, did you seriously think we’d be mad at you or something?” Sokka asks incredulously.

”No,” Zuko snaps, bristling.

”Okay, okay,” Katara interrupts the interrogation, “Leave him alone, guys. He’s sick. You all need to leave. Sokka, get my bending water.”

”Why me?” He asks, sounding somewhat offended.

”Because you’re the one who upset Zuko,” she says serenely.

”I’m not upset!” Zuko begins to protest, as the others file out of the room, Sokka still grumbling half-heartedly.

Toph puts a hand over his mouth and says, “Sunshine? Please shut up.” Zuko goes a bit red and nods once. Toph removes her hand, “ _Thank_ you. Oh, and Katara? I’m staying with you two idiots.”

Katara opens her mouth to argue, but quickly thinks better of it. “Alright,” she sighs, slumping forward and burying her head in her hands. She takes a deep breath, collecting herself, before sitting back up, feeling much calmer and much more prepared for the next few days.

Toph plops herself on the side of the bed, keeping her feet firmly planted on the ground. “You okay about the whole passing out thing?” She questions awkwardly.

”Yeah, it’s fine. I’ve passed out in worse locations,” Zuko shrugs.

”That’s metal as fuck,” Toph comments and Zuko laughs.

”Thanks, Toph,” he says dryly, shaking his head.

”Anytime,” she smirks.

Katara rolls her eyes, “You two are crazy.”

”Nah, Toph’s the crazy one. I’m just stupid.” Toph cackles loudly and Katara crosses her arms over her chest, determined not to laugh, though she can feel her lips twitching.

”I got your shit,” Sokka announces, as he enters the room, holding out Katara’s pouch.

”Thanks,” Katara smiles at him, grabbing it from him and opening the cap. Bending some of the water out and letting it circle around her hands, she reaches forward, but freezes when Zuko flinches away. “You okay?” She asks softly.

He looks at her, in that calculating way he does sometimes. Finally, he says, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

”Alright, you should probably hold still,” she advises, before concentrating fully on healing the firebender.

—————

That night, Katara falls asleep in her chair and Toph falls asleep at the foot of Zuko’s bed, both unwilling to leave him alone. It’s for this reason, that they both begin to stir awake when Zuko whimpers in his sleep. “Hello?” Katara says blearily.

Her eyes snap open, when she notices Zuko stirring restlessly. “Zuko?” She whispers, as Toph sits up in bed. 

Zuko’s muttering in his sleep now and Katara feels vaguely sick, when she hears a quiet, “Please, father. ‘m sorry.”

”Zuko!” Katara whispers, shaking his shoulder. He flinches away from her touch, his breath hitching. 

“Zuko!” Toph says, much louder than Katara had, “Wake up!”

The ex prince jolts awake, his eyes darting wildly around the room, though Katara notices that his left eye doesn't seem to be tracking properly. "Sparky?" Toph says softly.

Zuko is holding himself oddly still, as he looks warily at the two girls. "Did I wake you?" he asks, his voice much raspier thann usual.

"I mean, yeah, kind of," Toph shrugs.

Zuko flinches and Katara hisses, " _Toph_ , a little more tact would've been nice."

"Oh. Sorry, Sunshine," Toph mutters.

Zuko seems to hardly hear her, looking more than a little out of it. Katara's eyes widen as she notices the sheen of sweat on his face. Reaching forward to feel his forehead with the back of her hand, she realizes her mistake a moment too late.

Zuko flinches violentlly, all but throwing himself away from her. "I'm sorry!" He exclaims. "I didn't mean to, I promise!" He continues to plead incoherently, voice too quiet to understand, and Katara feels her heart break, as he protectively shields his face with an arm, curling away from her.

Toph looks furious and, obviously, doesn't trust herself to speak calmly right now, so Katara, for the first time, is the one to comfort Zuko. "Hey," she murmurs quietly, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. 

"I'm not going to hurt you," she informs him in a soft voice. He stops rambling under his breath and she takes that as a good sign. "I'm sorry I scared you," she scoots a little closer, as if she were approaching an injured otter-penguin.

He lowers his arm a little, revealing his face, and Katara is dismayed to see tears pooling in his eye. "Can I touch you?" she asks gently. After a long moment, he nods once. Scooting closer, she places a very gentle hand on his arm. "You're safe here, you know?" Katara tells him, "You're safe with me and Toph."

He nods again and, this time, actually presses closer to her. Apparently Sick Zuko is very sad and quiet and touch-starved and, apparently, that makes Katara's mothering instincts sky rocket. She reaches forward very carefully and strokes his hair gently, feeling her heart ache a little as he leans into the touch.

He looks like he wants to move closer, making an aborted movement forward, but isn't quite sure _how_. "Come here," Katara tells him softly and, after a moment of situating themselves, he ends up stretched out on the bed, with his head in Katara's lap. 

The tired, glassy eyes that look up at her look so, so grateful and it's making Katara's heart hurt again. Going back to stroking his hair, she gives him a soft, comforting smile. It doesn't take long for his eyes to slip shut and his breathing to even out. He falls asleep, feeling safe and protected, and is free of nightmares for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene with Zuko having absolutely 0 stress about passing out comes from an actual experience I had lmao. I got knocked out and when I woke up everyone was freaking out and I was just chill.
> 
> If you enjoyed, feel free to drop some kudos or a comment :)


	3. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko gets worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have another chapter from Katara’s perspective bc I’m suddenly in love with writing her 😂

Zuko somehow manages to get worse during the night. When he wakes up with a groan, Katara rushes over to him, from where she had been eating a hasty breakfast with Toph. “How are you feeling?” She questions gently.

”Not very ideal,” he rasps, coughing a little.

Katara rolls her eyes at his phrasing, but grabs a glass of water for him to drink, cooling it, as she wraps her hand around it. “You need to sit up,” she says, wincing sympathetically, as he shakily pushes himself onto his elbows. He tries to take the glass, but his hands are shaking too much to hold it steady. Taking pity on him, Katara just bends the water into his mouth.

”Thanks,” he mutters, flopping back down onto his side.

His eye is even glassier than it was yesterday and Katara bites her lip nervously. “I think your fever’s worse,” she informs him with a sigh. Learning from her mistake yesterday, she waits for his acceptance, before putting a hand on his forehead. Worriedly shaking her head a little, she pulls back.

Suddenly Zuko’s eye widens, as if he’s remembering something. Rolling over, he buries his face in his pillow. “Oh, Agni,” he groans, “I’m so fucking sorry for last night. I-I woke you up and then I wasted your time with my weakness. I must have looked stupid a-and pathetic and-”  
  
Katara cuts off his self-deprecating ramble with a firm, “Zuko, stop,” she winces a little, when he flinches, but barrels on, “You didn’t waste my time at all and you didn’t look any of those things, I promise.”

”Seriously, Sparky, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Toph chimes in.

Zuko shrugs a little and mumbles, “Okay.” Katara sighs, but doesn’t push it.

—————

Throughout the day, Zuko drifts in and out of consciousness, with varying levels of awareness. Sometime in the afternoon, while Toph is out training Aang, he wakes again, sitting up in bed, with a muffled gasp. If Katara hadn’t been looking, she probably wouldn’t have even noticed. His eyes are squeezed shut and he looks terrified.

He’s mumbling something under his breath, over and over again, and when Katara leans closer she can make out a panicked mantra of, “Azula always lies, Azula always lies, Azula always lies.”

A rush of confusion mixed with empathy makes tears spring into her eyes. The gentle hand she puts on his arm makes him flinch, eyes snapping open. Though there _is_ a slight flicker of recognition in his eyes, he doesn’t seem to fully comprehend who she is and that scares Katara more than she’d like to admit. “Zuko?” She asks warily.

“He’s gonna kill me,” he says hoarsely, terror seeping into his words.   
  
“Who is?” Katara asks.

Zuko shakes his head rapidly, looking away, and just mutters, “She must have been lying. She had to have been.”

Katara begins to rub comforting circles into his back. He doesn’t protest, though his eyes are tearing up a little. “What if he really _does_ kill me?” He asks nobody, in a low voice that Katara has to lean forward to hear. “Nobody’ll care,” he decides, after a long pause.

”I’d care,” the waterbender says immediately.

He doesn’t seem to hear her, or, if he does, he simply ignores her. “Who’d care about a useless fuck-up like me? Father will probably hold a celebration,” he chuckles wetly, his voice slurring a little.

Katara feels a wave of anger sweep over her. “Your father doesn’t deserve a son as kind as you,” she growls. He’d never told her anything specific, but, from what he’s let slip and from what she’s guessed, she can infer the way his father treated him well enough.

A flash of panic flickers over his face, “Please, please don’t ever let him hear you say that. He’d- he’d-”

He’s practically hyperventilating now, so Katara grabs one of his hands on instinct and squeezes, “Shh, it’s okay. Your father’s not here, I promise.”

“Azula said he’s gonna kill me,” he confides, in a scared whisper.

”I wouldn’t let him” Katara says soothingly, “You’re safe here.”

”I like you,” he informs her, the shift in mood startling Katara a bit. He can hardly hold his eyes open anymore and he’s looking less panicked and more sleepy.

”Well that’s good, because I like you too,” she says, in the same gentle voice she always used to talk to sick patients back home.

”You know who you remind me of?” He slurs tiredly, laying back down.

”Who?”

”My mom,” he says, in a quiet voice that makes him sound so, painfully young, “She used to take care of me when I was hurt and she wouldn’t get mad at me when I felt bad. Like you.”

”Your mom sounds like a wonderful person,” Katara murmurs, her heart aching a little. The gentle voice she uses this time is for him and no one else.

”She was,” he tells her, smiling a little, “I wish she didn’t have to leave... I miss her,” his voice cracks along with Katara’s heart. She understands that kind of pain.

She smoothes his hair back wordlessly, blinking away tears. Zuko’s eyes slip shut, as he murmurs, “She was the only safe person for a long time. I think _you’re_ safe, though.”

Katara’s pretty sure she understands what he’s trying to say and it only makes her want to cry further. “I’m glad you feel safe with me, sweetheart,” she chokes out, the fond endearment slipping out, before she can stop it.

He’s asleep moments later and, the moment she’s sure he’s truly sleeping, Katara buries her face in her hands and cries. She cries for Zuko and she cries for all of the childhoods ruined by this senseless war. She can’t protect everyone, but at least she can protect the five people closest to her in the world. She promises to herself that she will _never_ let anyone hurt her friends again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t SUPER satisfied with this chapter, but I ended up liking it. So... drop some kudos and/or a comment and lemme know how you liked it!


	4. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko’s fever breaks and he and Katara have an important conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that I write a LOT of swear words, so like...sorry, not sorry?? Lmao

Remarkably, by the time the next morning rolls around, Zuko’s fever has finally broken. “Hey,” Katara says quietly, smiling softly, when she notices him stirring.

Zuko yawns, sitting up, and mutters, “Hi.”

”Your fever broke sometime last night,” she informs him, “How are you feeling?”

”Less like shit,” he says, with a small smile.

”What an insightful analysis,” Katara says dryly, rolling her eyes.

”Thanks,” he smirks. He seems to be in a relatively good mood and Katara is more than a little afraid that, if he remembers anything that was said yesterday, the good mood will disappear. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He asks, a self-defensive edge to his tone.

”Looking at you like what?” Katara asks, in what she hopes is a breezy manner.

”Like I’m going to break, or- or something,” he says frustratedly, looking increasingly self-conscious. His next words are mumbled, “Did- did I do something wrong?”

Katara sighs, but that only seems to make him fidget nervously. “Do you- I mean, you said a few things yesterday, be-because of your fever,” she explains haltingly.

”Oh,” his eye is wide and anxious, “I’m sorry.”

”You didn’t do anything wrong, I _promise_ ,” Katara says firmly. Her voice wavers a little, however, when she continues, “Do you remember _anything_?”

Zuko’s face scrunches up in a mixture of concentration and confusion. “No... I don’t think I-” he cringes, burying his face in his hands, “Oh, fucking Agni. Please tell me that I didn’t do what I think I did.”

”Uh, that depends on what you think you did,” Katara laughs awkwardly, bending water back and forth between her hands, just for something to do.

”You heard that stupid fucking mantra, didn’t you?” He grits out, still not looking up.

It takes Katara a second to remember, but, when she does, she frowns sadly. “The one about Azula?” She deliberately keeps her voice soft, even though she would like nothing more than to proclaim her wish to throttle Azula with her bare hands. 

Zuko nods into his hands, “Yeah. I’m- I’m sorry you had to hear that. It probably sounded really childish and stupid.”

“No, it didn’t,” Katara interjects swiftly, “I think I get it. She sounds really hard and scary to live with. If that made you feel safer, than it’s not childish or stupid at all.”

Zuko raises his head to look at her incredulously. He seems to struggle within himself for a moment before he seems to accept her answer. “Okay,” he sighs, “Okay,” he says for a second time, sounding much more confident.

Katara hesitates for a long moment, before taking the plunge and asking, “You said- you said something about your dad wanting to kill you. Was that real? I mean, was that something that actually happened?”

”Which time?” Zuko asks bitterly, looking away. The moment Katara had thought that she couldn’t feel any sadder for Zuko, he goes and says something like _that_? After a moment’s pause, he elaborates, “I think the time I was thinking of, was- was when I was ten.”

”My cousin, Uncle’s son, had just died and my father told _his_ father, Fire Lord Azulon, to revoke Uncle Iroh’s birthright. Grandfather told him to kill _me_ for daring to disrespect Iroh like that. Something about, ‘knowing the pain of losing a first born’, I think,” he tells the story in a deliberately detached voice, as if he were relating a tale that had happened to someone else.

”Your-your father couldn’t have possibly _actually_ planned on killing you... right?” Katara questions, almost desperately, her voice wavering. 

Zuko gives her a sad look, “When I confronted him on the day of the eclipse, he told me that he was happy to comply. It was my mother who saved my life. I still don’t know what she did exactly, but, the next morning, Azulon was dead and Ursa, my mother, was gone.”

”Is she-” Katara starts hesitantly.

”I don’t know. Maybe,” he shrugs half-heartedly, “All I know is that, when she disappeared, I lost my only support in the world.”   
  
“I understand that,” Katara says gently, putting a hand on his arm.

All of a sudden, something appears to register and Zuko’s face drains of color immediately. “Oh, fuck,” he mutters quietly, “I think I just remembered something else. Did I- did I compare you to my _mom_?”

”Uh, yeah, kinda,”Katara shrugs.

Zuko pulls away from her sharply, the anxiety returning to his eyes. “I’m so, so sorry,” he stammers, bowing from where he sits, “That was probably really, really weird and awkward and I- I apologize for-”

“Zuko,” Katara cuts him off, feeling slightly guilty, when he flinches, “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You were sick and scared and it was actually kind of sweet,” she admits, with a small smile.

He raises his head warily and Katara wonders briefly how she had ever missed how _scared_ he is all the time. “I’m not mad, Zuko,” she promises.

”You’re not?” His voice is painfully small and unsure, even as he sits back up and looks directly at her.

”Nope,” she smiles a little. He looks immensely relieved and Katara blurts out, “Can I hug you?”

Zuko flushes, nodding shyly. She wraps her arms around him gently, though he still tenses automatically. After a moment, where he simply sits, he brings his own arms up to return the hug and allows himself to sink into the gentle embrace. “Thank you, Katara,” he murmurs.

”I’ll _always_ help people who need me,” she says firmly, “especially friends.”

”Are we- are we friends?” Zuko asks, pulling back to look at her.

”Of course we are,” Katara assures, taking his hand and squeezing.

Zuko’s smile is shy and hesitant, but it lights up his whole face and, when Katara pulls him in for another hug, he doesn’t hesitate to return it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are guys, gals and nonbinary pals! The end of yet another fic! Shorter than my other chaptered fics but there wasn’t much else I had to say about this one. Drop some kudos or a comment if you enjoyed, and I’ll see you all in the next fic!


End file.
